Nintendo DS - cAN'T sTOP tILL yOU gET eNOUGH

The Nintendo DS is like a little piece of chicken that you get stuck in your teeth. You tongue at it for an hour, think you get it out, then notice it's still there later that night. Mmmmmmm chicken. Here is a brief and poorly constructed history of the Nintendo DS.


First came the clunky Nintendo DS. The design looked OK, but there were obvious flaws. It just didn't look right to me and was slightly heavier than it should of been for a handheld. A great little system, but unfinished in my opinion.


Next in line was the DS Lite, which should of been the first version of this system. Although it still looked like a little jewelry box, many of the design flaws that were found in the original DS were corrected. The system wasn't as heavy, the top and bottom actually looked like they belonged together and the overall build quality seemed to be better than the standard DS.


Never a company to sit around and wait for shit to happen, Nintendo again revolutionized the handheld console world by then releasing the DSi. This monster of a handheld had a camera! Exactly what you want in a handheld. You can play games, and take sneaky pictures of people at the same time. Perfect! Of course, you could no longer play GBA games in the DSi, but the pictures! Oh, the pictures you could take! In the end, this version was just another rehashed released from Nintendo. Pretty much a way to get parents to drop 200$ again on a system their snot nosed brat already owned. But hey, at least if you preorder the system you got one of these moderately attractive Japanese women with it. Something for Dad too!


You would think Nintendo would quit while they were ahead. I mean, they already had 3versions of the Nintendo DS that were pretty much the same machine other than a few upgrades (and downgrades.) Well, why stop there right?

"Just for shits and giggles, let's try to sell the DS to people again. Let's just make it bigger and include Brain Age with it. That'll get em in the stores!"

It happened, just like that. The DSi got supersized and hardcore Nintendo fans and dumb parents plopped down another 175$ or so for the fat DSi. Same system, but bigger, and with a few games preloaded that no one will play.. and that's it for the Nintendo DS. The lads at Nintendo will sit back for a couple of years and cook up a new handheld system. Something different, something fresh.



Whuh? 3D? C'mon.